Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
