My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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