i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
