Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
