your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
a search helicopter?!
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
