i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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