I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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