i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
