I CAN MOONWALK!
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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