hell yes lets make some ravioli
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
