sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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