so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We were destined to go to rehab together
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
