I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
