My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
