last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
