I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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