just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
