I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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