Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
