is wine microwaveable?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
