from now on my penis is your penis
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
