I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
