I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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