apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
