Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Randomize
