Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
