I should be sponsored by Trojan
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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