I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
