it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
