I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
