i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize