my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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