Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
