just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
