and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
