peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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