Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
