oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
