The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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