Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
