Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
