I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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