we have officially lost it.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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