i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
