I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He better not be in your backpack
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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