their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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