So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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