When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Randomize
