She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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