why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
