respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
