Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
