Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
