YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
