Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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