he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
