we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
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