Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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