dude i'm inner monologue high
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
