yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
