I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
