Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
