what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
