You're my little dorito
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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