i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
