This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
