I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
