I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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