Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
