Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
